


All Your Fire

by tragicallywicked



Series: Jasper & Alice Verses [9]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel/Demon Relationship, Angst and Tragedy, Big time angst, Character Death, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, JaliceWeek20, good luck, i did say it had angst, this is not fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27130276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tragicallywicked/pseuds/tragicallywicked
Summary: I was told hell was a place where lust and desire pour in every corner, where my darkest wishes come to live. I didn’t give in to that pull, I was happy in paradise until I met you. Since then the real hell is everywhere, it’s the torture of being away from you. I have given up my soul for any second more with you.
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale
Series: Jasper & Alice Verses [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921054
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15
Collections: Jalice Week 2020





	All Your Fire

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still crying, so I only reviewed this once. JaliceWeek is major feels, y'all.
> 
> Day five: angel/demon
> 
> Ahh, check below the art for the playlist!

[ PLAYLIST ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2tugynDGEO3qdPKVs8aRS4?si=Sl_bxWgTTN-lxcS4OFq9WA)

Good and evil hang on a balance that keeps the Universe in alignment. Its spirits and creatures walk a thin line onto that balance, for doom or salvation. A tightrope ready to elevate the good or swallow the bad into eternity. Jasper was created to help keep the balance between good and evil steady, like so many beings on both sides of the coin. Born an angel, he knew only of good and pure, and the task that was thrust upon him to look after humans on their journey.

Because of how he had been made, beings like him never questioned the purpose of their tasks, or the meanings of their objectives. They were born to live eternally in aid of humans, so they did that exactly. From the day they began existing, his duty was known in their hearts. But because balance needed its flaws in order to achieve perfection, every once in a while, an angel would turn to darkness.

That aided for the creation of trials and tests, billions of years ago, that all angels underwent to find if they were a flaw in the system or if they were born to follow all angels' purpose.

Jasper had excelled in his probation and, therefore, been assigned a human, a man who'd been in hanging on the balance and perhaps falling too close to darkness: Peter. He had to study the case, and the man's life, as he would be stepping in as his protector at the man's twenty-six birthday. Typically no human would be assigned an angel immediately, the process often occurred in situations in which the individual would be failing miserable or when a demon had been haunting them for too long. Peter had been failing to resist the urges and temptations from Hell. Ultimately, it would be the human's decision to which side to follow. Still, Paradise always gave them an _option_ , an alternative. Jasper was Peter's alternative.

On the day before his mission, Jasper's supervisor, an angel with higher experience. Maria was an angelic figure, very talk with long dark-brown hair and deep eyes.

"Jasper, tomorrow you'll be joining Peter, and there is something about him that is not in his file." The information brought surprise and confusion. It wasn't often that things were omitted, left to higher standing angels. And Jasper wasn't what one would call the experienced one.

"No?"

"It's about Peter's demon." Jasper had read how it was a woman who had been doing such, not just with Peter, for one too many years. But it did lack throughout information in the file.

"A woman, yes." Any information would be necessary for him to aid the human. Nodding, he listened attentively to what Maria had to tell.

"She used to be one of us." For years, there had been rumors of the occasions angels flawed, as they weren't often. Even fewer times, there were the cases of angels that had turned demons after they had started in their tasks. "Alice was an angel many years ago. She became a demon not too long ago, but she is quite complicated. Hell takes great pride in having turned her _after_ the tests."

"This is my first time as an angel. Do not get me wrong, I am truly honored and grateful to be helping Peter, but wouldn't it be wiser that another with more experience be sent." Maria shook her head at Jasper, much to his startlement.

"We do not question the orders from above, Jasper, you know that." The severe tone was understandable when it was an angel of higher rank speaking to a newborn one.

"I know. My apologies, ma'am." He bowed respectfully.

"You have to trust and be centered."

"I will."

Demons had different types of upcomings. Some were born that way while others failed angel tests to become one. Alice was a rare case of one that became a demon after her full angel transformation, so there was a particularity about her: she still had her wings, but they had lost it's pearl shade to turn a deep onyx. It made her figure all the more intimidating, and her presence more powerful.

Doomed to that for eternity, as a demon could not return to being an angel, Alice had embraced the darkness. She was the worst of them all—not their leader, but Alice was feared and equally admired among his minions.

Years brought a loss of senses. When she was an angel, Alice felt alive, human. Giving up on the purity of her soul, all that was left were the flashes of her eternal victims, the torture, the lust. That fed her soul, granting the sensation and desire for more because it never truly _fulfilled_ it completely, bordering just the edge of satisfaction. It was what kept all demons endlessly going, the sensation that they were _so close_ to being accomplished.

The strange thing was how vividly Alice still remembered being an angel and how the _same_ lingering sensation of _near satisfaction_ would always occur. It was almost as if she'd gotten used to it, because it stopped bothering her how similar both worlds were. At least Alice was now on the side she didn't feel to be cheating their real intentions.

There was nothing special about Peter. He'd been just another one of her victims, an excellent outcome to her manipulation skills. She was expecting Paradise to be sending him an angel soon enough. It often occurred with her victims, but many failed miserably to bring their humans back to light. She wasn't worried about this one.

His angel was not one she'd been prepared for.

Angels and demons only could be seen by humans if they decided to present themselves to them. Angels had strict rules about its necessity, laws that were carefully watched throughout their missions, and they could never show their wings in the process. Demons had no such constraints. They could present themselves in humans or their own forms—many to be horrendous and terrifying. Both creatures could see one another at all times and in their full figures.

Jasper had seen demons before, he'd been shown them during his training, had witnessed some in action, but none had been like Alice. Peter had been at a bar in the company of his demon. She was concealed, but it was almost as if her hand held cup after cup for him to drown his anxieties into. But she was nothing like the other demons he had seen.

Aside from the pitch-black wings that covered her back, Alice was, in fact, an angel. Her face was petit as was her figure. The large wings as tall as her, the face with a delicate pointy nose, hair short with locks turning to every direction, and the lips painted on a deep shade of red. Jasper had no idea why his heart sped up to the sight of her. It wasn't fear—he always had a grasp of emotions, but to some mystery, he could not tell what he felt now.

She saw him coming into the bar, pearl wings open wide and a shine to his presence. The aura alone of the angel made Peter put the cup back down on the counter and drunkenly fidget with the wallet. Alice would have worked him back to the liquor had she not been distracted with the tall figure, the blond curls that shaped his face and the cutting green eyes that stared in the depths of her soul.

Unlike Jasper, Alice knew exactly what that feeling was.

The lifting as if one was flying, the sanity wandering away and the strong urge to be once again _good_. It brought a tightness to Alice's soul that somewhere inside had once been that—filled with good. She'd never experienced that sensation right there, though, only witnessed in others. Specifically, another demon, Edward, who fell for the angel accompanying his mortal. The fate that befell on them wasn't one Alice liked to be reminded of.

Paradise had, once again, sent her to eternal doom. She would not end up like Edward, Alice told herself that right there, on that first meet.

—

They wouldn't exchange words on the weeks that followed, both focused on their duty—that were to go against each other. Sharing a space wasn't the easiest, but none would cave on, leaving Peter alone. That constant brought Peter some sort of _balance_. Jasper would persuade him into goodness, to which she'd respond with hisses. The attempts to bring him in the opposite direction brought him to a state of neutrality.

It was an endless battle, both resilient into winning.

But Jasper had been observing her too closely, her emotions specifically. A skilled angel carried more than just the potency of influencing one's mind to good. Many could have an array of different talents. Jasper couldn't penetrate a mind sunk in darkness to be brought across the bridge. Still, he could feel and manipulate their emotions—which at many times presented to be a challenge with Alice.

Her attempts to Peter could affect Jasper profoundly. He would often seek strength out for her sensations were too strong. But he'd often notice her curiosity toward him, her challenging eyes attempting to read her.

One day, he decided to talk.

"I'm Jasper." Peter was asleep, both creatures attempting their own influences on him. Her of nightmares, him of dreams, resulting in a blankness on the human's mind. The angel figured perhaps it wouldn't take too work of him if the demon was distracted.

"I know." He imagined she'd been given a file the same way he was given one about Peter—or some sort of information like Maria had given on him. "Did they give you a file on me too?"

"No, actually." The mockery in her tone reminded Jasper how she'd been an angel before all this, she knew the process. "Were you given one on me?"

"That's now how _we_ work," Jasper observed how her eyes, at last, darted from the human toward him. He hadn't looked her in the eye since the first time they had come together at the bar. They were a deep shade of blue, so different in its purity—yet they carried too much sorrow. "I am certain they gave you the update on me."

"They did tell me you were once like me." Alice scoffed, rolling her eyes, red lips pursed together in a thin line.

"I was never an angel." At least not how they wanted her to.

"Your wings tell me otherwise."

"Very literal, I see," Alice mocked, sarcastically. "I was an angel, but not how you expect one to be."

"I do not really know exactly what that's supposed to mean."

Alice scrutinized him, the frown settled across her features. "You are a newborn." Jasper nodded, a laugh escaping her lips. The noise made Peter shiver in his sleep. "Damn bold of them to send a newborn against me."

"You do not believe I can bring him to our side again?"

"How much have they told you about me?" His silence was the answer Alice was looking for. "So time will tell you what to expect."

—

They didn't speak again for long, always lingering in the same space, each on one side of the human. Soon became clear that their presence, _together_ , balanced things out. For Jasper, that was satisfactory, not perfect, yet better than the hole Peter had been sinking into. Alice found it utterly disturbing to be failing so badly. Never before it had happened, and she knew well _why_ now, with Jasper, she found herself derailing. The fact he had _no clue_ of it only angered Alice.

On a Saturday night, Peter met this girl, Charlotte. Only _then_ that Jasper understood the sentiments he'd been experiencing since he'd first met Alice.

Peter and Charlotte shared an incredibly strong bond, communicated without words, understood one another most profoundly. A connection Jasper realized he had with Alice all along. It wasn't always clear, almost as if she'd been blocking it all along, in the moments her guard would be down, he could experience the connection—the understanding for her actions, the motivation. Jasper had, before, granted it to the fact he was a benevolent being. Now he understood it had nothing to do with light or darkness.

"You knew." The words were confused, lost. Naturally, such sensations were what drove beings like Alice, but hearing it from Jasper made her darkened heart ache.

"I did."

"I—I don't understand." He shook his head, processing it. "You're not—You're a demon. How's that possible?"

"I wasn't always one." She told him quickly. "But some flaws do happen."

"You think this is a flaw?" Jasper seemed more outraged than before, hearing her speak of it that way.

"Love? Between a demon and an angel? Do you not?" She scoffed, looking away.

"You said it yourself, you were once an angel."

"I also said, _not anymore_ ." For a moment, the demon reconsidered the use of the word _love_ . It was too strong, and it brought her sentiments Alice wasn't used to feeling anymore. A bittersweet longing for the years she'd given away, for the taste of _joy_.

"That. What you just felt—" She eyed him with perplexity.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you felt it." Jasper knew he'd have to further explain his skills if he was going to get anything out of her. "I can feel it too." For a moment, she wondered if that was something to do with the bond they shared. But because it seemed to be one ended, Alice couldn't quite grasp. "I have talents. I feel _all._ "

"Oh." She seemed surprised then. It sunk to him how _Paradise_ had sent an empath angel to be with a demon so deep in the shadows herself. If she didn't believe in Paradise before, the idea they'd put a being through suffering that way only settled in more. Especially when she considered they _had to_ know the bond they shared. "So do I."

"You feel things?"

"No. I see them." Alice hadn't confessed that in years, the last time it brought her doom. She figured now there was no need to worry about that any longer—but little did she know how foolish she was about that. "Before they happen."

"Is that why Hell wanted you with them?" Alice imagined it was one of the factors, but she shook her head.

" _I_ wanted to be with them."

"Why?"

Since they had met, Jasper never gave her the opening to lure him into darkness, not until now. And yet, she didn't take that chance. It had been a choice she'd made on her own, but she did not want it for him, even with that shared bond.

"There's a lot you don't know about Paradise."

The newfound bond and the understanding of it eased their shared space. The aura didn't feel as heavy as before, as Jasper had noticed. Even if they still fought silent and eagerly on that mission to bring Peter to one side or another.

Jasper brought up many months into the _mission_ , how different all felt, lightening the possibility of other choices.

"What if there is a middle? A space in between where we could leave Peter's existence to hang and stop torturing each other?" The uncomfortable mood settled in the room, making Jasper think he'd said something wrong.

"I torture you?"

"That's not what I was trying to say—"She interrupted him, though.

"Or maybe this was their plan all along, to torture me."

"Why would Hell want to torture a demon?"

"Not Hell, Jasper. Paradise." Her answer didn't lighten up any further. "I deserted. They knew of our bond and they still sent you. They knew that I would know of the bond the moment I saw you because I've seen it before. But they also knew that you wouldn't know because you're a newborn."

Perhaps it had been how she ranted or the number of times she repeated the same word, but Jasper felt more and more lost as she spoke.

"I'm being punished because I left, and as my mate, you were dragged into this. Because of _me_." He could feel the intense ache in her heart as she said that last part and Jasper couldn't hold it any longer.

Perhaps the way she called him her _mate_ , or how thoroughly sorry and regretful her emotions were, he approached her immediately, swiping her into his arms. His arms and wings involving her with tender and light. Alice didn't pull back. She leaned onto his touch, against his chest and let herself be involved in the tranquility waving from Jasper.

She had never felt so serene in her life. Not even before, as an angel, there was such fulfillment and peace in her heart. Alice realized then what they had been deprived, in Hell and Paradise, a twisted scheme to keep beings like them apart to slaver for the _greater good_ , for the balance of the Universe.

They were deprived of emotion and love, sharing such a strong connection that finally settled the fulfillment of their existence.

Well, not anymore.

—

There was no hiding that Alice and Jasper would be a problem for the folks in Hell and Heaven. Still, both sides decided to let it play it out because they knew there would be only one exit if this played how the couple was expecting it. Alice knew it too, but she feared speaking of it would drag Jasper away.

They continued by Peter, balancing him into neutrality with his good and her bad. But at times, they would step away and let the man carry on his life without their influence.

Jasper spends a lot of time reading for Alice whilst she found peace in his arms. When they kissed the first time, though, her first feathers began to fall. They had been lying down exactly like that. Her head resting on his chest and his arms around her. Alice's wings hiding and involving her body on a sort of nest. Jasper made a brief pause to look down at her.

"What?"

"You're the most beautiful angel I've seen." His words made her chuckle. _Look at me now, giggling!_ She'd thought to herself.

"I'm no angel, darling."

"Well, then. You're a frightening little monster."

Jasper held her chin to shorten the distance, lips pressed against hers. Alice felt the immediate pain mix with an utterly superb feeling of being with him, at last. The fact Jasper was an empath, he felt both.

"Did I hurt you?" She shook her head promptly, hands involving his neck to kiss him again.

Another shock of excruciating pain and the satisfaction of his lips both brought the tears to dwell in her eyes.

"Alice." He pulled back again, heart racing with fear. "You're crying."

"It's nothing."

"Tell me." He pleaded, and it was his desperation that made her almost cave.

"I can't—I don't want to worry you." She repeated mentally that he didn't need to know, that it would alright.

"I already am."

"We can't—We can't be together. The closer we get, the more I die."

Those words hit Jasper like a punch in the stomach. Their intimacy brought her danger, risked her existence.

"W—How?"

"You're bringing light back, but I can never go back to being an angel, so I'll disappear." A terrified mood settled in the room, coming from the both of them, the inevitability of their fate settling into their hearts.

"I—I won't kiss you."

"It's not the physical contact, Jazz. It accelerates it, but it's us being together." She'd seen it happen to Edward and Bella, until his last bit disappeared, leaving Bella alone and lost to eternity.

"I'll become like you then." Immediately, Alice shushed him, leaning her forehead against his, eyes shut tight.

"No. I don't want this for you."

"Well, I don't want for you to die."

"You are good, Jasper, perfect. This wouldn't do you well. You can feel things. You would regret, resent me even." He was enraged with the accusation he would ever feel anything for her that wasn't love and admiration for her wit, strength, beauty.

"I was told Hell was a place where lust and desire pour in every corner, where my darkest wishes come to life. I didn't give in to that pull. I was happy in Paradise until I met you. Since then, the real Hell is everywhere. It's the torture of being away from you. I will give up my soul for _any_ second more with you."

His words hit her hard. There was nothing she could say to convince him. But there was something she could do.

"Hold me." Alice pleaded.

Jasper obliged. His arms and pearl wings involve them both in a shell away from their problems, away from the insecurities.

"Love me, Jasper."

"Alice."

"I won't die. Just love me tonight." Her voice was hoarse with love, and Jasper could feel the deep need irradiating from her.

He gave in and he loved her all night—the pain in between easing with the intensity of their love, the strength of their bond.

They were one and the world could wait, at least for that night.

—

The weeks that followed were filled with concern and painful anticipation. Every new feather that fell was another push for Jasper to go through with his plan. Alice wouldn't tell him _how to_ and as a newborn, he had no clue to begin it. He considered approaching other demons, but he and Alice spent most time hidden away in their love nest. The more ill she became, the less he wanted to leave her alone—fearing it could be the last time he'd see her.

"There has to be a way." He pleaded one afternoon.

Alice was weak, her fingers running lazily over his curls, brushing his scalp with her fingernails.

"You could rip off my wings once and for all." She sighed. Every new feather felt as if she was losing her breath each time more. His eyes found hers and the pain on them made her regret her words. "I'm sorry."

"I could go away."

"I'll die anyway. I'd rather do it by your side." Jasper had never understood the amount of suffering a human could undergo. Still, he imagined what they shared now was beyond it.

He tried to keep most days light for her. They would spend time together. At times they would make love, numb the fear. It always worked, the blissful desire, the union of their bodies and souls, it almost made them forgot how made their time together short.

"Make me feel something." Alice would plead him every time, in between kisses, and he'd lose his sense and give in. A momentary pleasure for their short-lived eternal love.

But in days these, where she was such a pessimist, Jasper would use his skills to try and shelter her from the fear of stopping to exist. What he rarely would share was how the idea of a world without her terrified him.

"I have to confess something." He'd told Alice one day.

"What is it?"

"I don't think I can go back, not without you." How would serve other beings any good if his purpose would cease to exist?

"You have to." Holding his face, she made him gaze her. "Promise me."

"I can't promise you this, Alice."

—

When the day came, it was like they both knew. The air seemed viscid around them. Her featherless wings made her look like a lost bird. She was weak, frail. Jasper hated everything. He hated seeing her this way.

The time they spent together made him understand Alice hesitations with Paradise, which brought him the knowledge of how flawed that system of Universe balance was when it would punish a being trying to recover and be better. He couldn't see himself serving either side, not any longer.

They had been played into being together, brought into each other's lives, not by fate or coincidence, but a devious plan to make her suffer. He couldn't accept it. No, Jasper would never endure all the pain Alice had to face.

"Jazz—" She called out weakly, bringing his thoughts back to her. They both noticed her wings beginning to detach from her back and knew it wouldn't be too long until he'd have to watch her disappear.

"I'm here." His hands tightened around her figure, feeling the shiver that ran down her body.

"I love you, and I always will." Her whisper was pure light. Their eyes meeting showed Jasper he wasn't wrong. She was all light. "Doesn't hurt anymore."

Contrary to the words, the tears pooled in her eyes, soon enough to his as well. But he felt it. Jasper knew there was no pain.

For a moment, just a brief second, there was so much hope filling up the room. She was still there in his arms. Maybe there was a chance. Alice felt that joy fill her completely. No more pain.

He kissed her, and she closed her eyes, giving in to the salvation of his arms.

And then she disappeared into thin air.

He was alone.

Empty.

—

Jasper found there wasn't a world he'd like to live without Alice. At first, the idea of removing his own wings sounded terrifying, impossible, but not after she was gone.

Only Alice could ease his mind, and she wasn't there anymore. Her fallen feathers still covered the room, but her laughter, her kisses, warmth, whispers. They were all gone. It was all cold and dark now. There was no point anymore.

He could still hear her voice in his memory, hear her heartbeat against his chest, when he closed his eyes to cry. But there wasn't a world he'd want to live without her.

And he wouldn't need to anymore.


End file.
